What my dad helped me unlearn


It’s as simple and as difficult as that!

Some of you might be wondering why unlearn?

For me unlearning has been the most important thing than learning. To continually transform yourself, learning is essential. While learning is good, it might be counterproductive. This is the time you realize you need to unlearn.

My dad has always taught me to unlearn mental habits that no longer serve us. He has always been contemplative about everything which i think I’ve acquired from him. He has in a very unspoken way taught me to figure out the thoughts and habits that hold me back. I’ve ever since learnt to keep a check on my thoughts that shape my beliefs.

My dad (I call him appa) has been a man of principles and a tough disciplinarian. Though, it took me decades to understand these simple things that I’ve been resisting in the name of rebelling.

Finally however, I had to give in to substance. And today I’m a mother and can’t agree less how momentous his virtues has had on my life so far.. In unlearning many things. Here are a few life changing ones:

#1 If you’ve to do something you value, do it now!

Me: Oh! What’s the hurry. I’ve all the time to figure out and we can’t achieve all that we want right now. Can we!

Him: All it takes is your negligence to turn ‘all the time’ to ‘no time’ in no time. One day he told me “look, the first step you take right now will be a giant leap, once you take that first step the rest will follow. Start taking conscious steps towards your goal till one day you reach there”. This will be my first lesson learnt from my life coach, my dad.

#2 Speak straight or don’t speak at all

Me: Something is better than nothing. Isn’t it?

Him: My dad who does not mince his words thinks otherwise…(he says nothing is better than nonsense) which I completely agree now. But it isn’t always very easy to be straight in this twisted ways of the world. Is it! I’m still learning..

#3 Read, read and read more

Me: yes I’m reading Chetan Bhagat, Sidney Sheldon and….!? wait i forgot….Isn’t this enough!

Him: Being a student of MA in literature, he subscribes to a different school of thought. He says “If you don’t start your day with your local newspaper and end your day with the best literary works of your times, you’re no reader” and i known Mark Twain, Leo Tolstoy, Jane Austin, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare through his narrations of their stories. Today my library and my mind both are expanding for i have read all that i could from my dad’s collection.

#4 If someone or something is not doing you any good then you need to cut it off

Me: How ruthless! How can you even think?

Him: If you don’t, then you not only become bitter but also turn the relationship bitter. He has walked his talk and distanced himself from many who just talk in the air but don’t stand by when you need them the most. But when it comes to genuine people, he does everything he can for them. This has been most alluring about him and also tough.

Most importantly all this has been in most of the cases to guard his family. He has taken life’s some of the toughest decisions not for himself but for his family’s well-being.

In the age of hallow words and shallow talks, listening him talk with so much sincerity, simplicity and substance with wisdom simplified to suit common sense is so refreshing. I’m extremely close with mom (my amma) but it’s my dad i naturally turn to for some tough calls for his virtue of not mixing his thoughts with emotions and seeing the world the way it is and not the way he wants it to be.

His words reflects the best in this quote

No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking” – Voltaire

The word ‘father’ synonym to responsibility is one of the toughest. And my dad has always fulfilled it with at most grace. A self made man himself, he forces me to be my best. The person who teaches me to be simple, humble yet strong. To the man who has made me believe in some virtues found only in books, Happy Father’s Day!

Hope this reading gives you something worth your time and lastly I would like to leave a old quote by a wise one “learn to empty your cup before filling it

Happy learning and unlearning all!

Welcome to the Father’s Day #SuperHero blog train, hosted by two wonderful ladies Priyanka Patwari 0f Flavors of World and Preety Tiwari of Delhi Blogger

I thank them for making me a part of this train filled with passionate bloggers. I also thank Itika Singh for introducing me in her blog post. Do read her story here http://itikasingh.winkl.co/ https://bit.ly/2JiUxUo 5 Indispensable Things My Father Taught Me About Getting Through Life

Please stop by www.directingdreams.com, the next blog in the father’s day train by Yogita Joshi to read her story ‘The Bond Is Eternal’

18 thoughts on “What my dad helped me unlearn

Add yours

  1. Beautiful article. I loved your perspective on how unlearning things is also very important which are no more useful.


  2. Your father gave this advice from his experience, he always want to see u happy and strong, sometimes unlearning things is more important than learning them.


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